BuBBa's Favrite 'Puter Terms

ACTIVE DESKTOP - Caused from leevin food on da puter desk
AOL - Any ole' looser
Apple - What Wannita sends me after fer pies
Backup - What ya do when ya sees a skunk in the woods
Bar Code - Them's the fight'n rules down at da tavern
Bitmap - Left over parts of a ten-year old map
Bug - The reason ya give for callin in sick
Byte - What yer pitbull dun to cusin Jethro
Cache - Needed when ya run out of food stamps
Cad - How Wannita shuts down da puter(ctrl,alt,delete)
CD~Rom - Uther side of the tracks wher the pope use ta live
Chip - Pasture muffins that ya try not to step in
Computer - New fangeled TV Set
Copy - How BuBBa got threw skool
CPU - We callem' skunks round here
Crash - When ya go to Junior's party uninvited
Data - Oppisit of Dissa
Default - What da bank sez we done on our loan
Defrag - What wez does ta our frigerator evry 3 months(or is dat defrost, cant' rmembr)
Digital - The art of countin on yer fingers
Diskette - Female Disco dancer
Display - Not much beter than da last one we saw
Documents - Translation of what da doc acshully sez
DOS - Dont' own Squat
Dot Matrix - Ole' Dan Matrixs' wife
Double Click - When yer lighter wont' lite the first time
Download - Bowel movement
Dual Processors - When 2 revenuers come callin
DVD - Deadly Venereal Disease
E-Mail - Knot male, knot female
Encryption - What they did ta those Egyptian Kings
Enter - Northrn fer "Come on in y'all"
Fat 32 - Wannita wuz fat long fore that
Fax - What ya lie about to the IRS
File - Da trash can
Floppy Disk - See Micro~Soft
Font - What ya call a baby deer(da T is silent)
Format - What ya wipes yer feet on b'forst ya come in da house
Frames - Held tagether by black tape so Wannita kan see
Gateway - Best way through the fence
GIF - What I gives Wannita fer her birthday
Hacker - Uncle Otis after 32 years of smokin
Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selectin tatoos
Hard Drive - The trip home from the bar wit the Police behind ya
Home Page - Call 2 Wannita 2 come gits me at the bar
ICQ - I cant' Quit
IBM - Immense Bowel Movement
Intellimouse - What we mus hav here, cuz our cat shore cant' catch em!
Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
Java - Coffee, what else
Java Applets - Coffee & Apple slices, duh!
Java Script - Papers aftr ya spilt da coffee on em
JPEG - Beter than a nail ta hang yer coat on
Keyboard - Where ya hang the keys to the John Deere
LapTop - Where I puts my plate
Laser Jet - Navys new air~plane
LCD - Little C-D Rom
Log Off - Dont' add no mor fire wood
Log On - Makes da wood stove hoter
Mac - Big BuBBa's favorite fast food
Mainframe - Holds up da barn roof
Megabytes - What BuBBa gits when he steps on da coon-dogs tail
Megahertz - How your head feels after 17 beers
Micro Chip - Left over Doritos
Micro~Soft - What Wannita calls BuBBa's thingy aftr' a twelv pack
Modem - What ya do when the grass gets too high
Monitor - What Wannita duz 2 the scanner 2 find BuBBa
Mouse - What Wannita uses' for tampons
Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live
Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
Online - Where to stay when takin the sobriety test
Passwords - How yer kids keep ya off da puter
Pentium - What wez do to da dog when he barks too much
Pentium 2 - Same thing-but both dogs
Plug~N~Play - What Wannita does wit her toys
Port - Fancy Flatlander Wine
Printer - What BuBBa uses ta make dolar bills fer da stripper show (it werks-it is dark, ya know)
Product - Hi-Strength duct tape
Product Support - Extra layer of Hi-Strength duct tape
Product Update - Totally replacin da duct tape
Program - What ya have yer kids do 2 the VCR
Programmer - Someone dat has mastered da Enlish language
Prompt - What da mail aint' in da winter time
RAM - Hard 2 hunt an lives in the mountins
Research - When ya cant' find yer truk keys da first time
ROM - Where da pope lives
Scan Disk - Lookin at da floppy ta see whats' on it
Scanner - How Wannita knows where BuBBa is
Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
SCSI - What ya call yer week-old underwear
Serial Port - A red wine ya drink with breakfast
S D RAM - Super-Duper sheep wit reely big horns
Software - Plastic forks an knifes
Sony - Which reminds me, need to raise puter desk
Spread Sheet - Wannita does dis for da food ta sit on at a picnic
Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year
SVGA - Skinny Virgins, give address
Technical - Darn shore dont' unnerstand dat one
Terminal - Time 2 call the under~taker
Upgrade - What BuBBa could never do in school
Upload - Prayin 2 the porcelin God
Utilities - What gits shut off on a reglar basis
Virus - What my sister Daisy-Joe cant' git rid of
Wave Table - Fancy name for bowed table
Windows - What ya shut when it gits cold
World~Wide~Web - Where them big ole' spiders live
WYSIWYG - Why you stupid idiot whar ya goin (people say dat ta BuBBa all da time)