T:

Mark Twain:

• The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
• The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
• I was gratified to be able to answer promptly.
  I said, "I don't know."
• Man is the only animal that blushes or needs to.
• Man will do many things to get himself loved,
  he will do all things to get himself envied.
• Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
• Let us be thankful for the fools.
  But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
• Thousands of geniuses live and dies undiscovered
  - either by themselves or by others.
• He is useless on top of the ground;
  He ought to be under it, inspiring the cabages.
• Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
• To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler - and no trouble.
• Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy
  you must have somebody to divide it with.
• The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
• In the first place God made idiots.
  This was for practice.
  Then he made school boards.
• Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid
  than to open it and remove all doubt.
• By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity.
  Another man's I mean.
• When angry, count four;
  When very angry, swear;
• Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
• I am a great & sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, & all
  His works must be contemplated with respect.
• It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt
  you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the
  news to you.
• There's plenty of boys that will come hankering and grovelling
  around you when you've got an apple, and beg the core off of you;
  but when they've got one, and you beg for the core and remind them how
  you give them a core one time, they say thank you most to death, but there
  ain't-a-going to be no core.
• Adam was but human-this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the
  apple's sake; he wanted it only because it was forbidden.
• Name the greatest of all the inventors. Accident.
• I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
• Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
• Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
• The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
• One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat
  has only nine lives.
• All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.